darkroom dreaming

Do you ever wish you could go back to a simpler time in your life?
A time when life made sense.
A time when life was easy.
A time when there was nothing but wonderful possibility.

Tonight, I do.

I am wistfully longing for the ease and simplicity of my sophomore year in college.
Before friendships became hard.
Before true love was introduced to me, and then in death, would break my heart.
Before I knew how things would crumble, and how God would lead me to the pieces.

During that blissful year while away at university, I was somewhere in between being a girl and a woman... Not quite refined, unsteady in my steps, naive in the best ways, and brimming with hope.

I was "a good time girl."
Never one to turn down an invitation to have fun:
• My girlfriends and I sipped on Lemon Drops made with the cheapest vodka that could be purchased, followed by dancing the sultry, Southeast Texas summer night away.
• I went on road trips with great friends: snowboarding at Big Bear, California; climbing in the inky darkness of Carlsbad Caverns; taking snapshots with an alien in Roswell, New Mexico; camping in Estes Park, Colorado; and, capturing haunting images of the antebellum cemeteries of historic New Orleans.
• School nights were extended till the wee hours, as the photo students morphed into night owls in the darkroom. That darkroom held so many memories, life lessons, and tears in the chemicals.

The past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions, new clients and work, and countless blessings in my relaunched photography business and personal life.
But, in all of the goodness that surrounds me at this moment, I want to go back and just enjoy being 2o years old: Laughing easily with friends, and playing the CD player too loudly in the darkroom at 1 a.m.

I'm missing the comradery, the joy of youthfulness, the magic of the photo developing chemicals, and the anticipation of waiting for the exposed paper to reveal its hidden secrets.

Since then, seasons have changed, and changed, and changed again.
I have had many losses, deaths, major life changes, moves, blessings, failures and successes, and experiences that have molded me. I would not want to change most of it, as it is a huge part of who I am today.

But, today, I am missing the ease of the yesterday from 10 years ago.



And, simply because I don't like naked posts, here is a picture straight out of my digital darkroom.