Photographing weddings has been difficult for me since I became a widow.
I've always cried at weddings. They're so lovely and intimate.
However, weddings have much more meaning now that my own marriage vows have "expired" (ya know, the 'till death' part).
The wedding I'm shooting on Saturday will be especially bittersweet.
The bride is a dear friend and fellow widow-sister. Dina's late husband passed a year and a half after mine. We became fast friends, and I enjoy having her in my life.
I am so happy for her, I feel that my heart could literally burst!
But, a part of me is in anguish.
I think of my own magical wedding.
If I close my eyes, I could swear that I can smell the sweet, tropical flowers. Hear the ocean waves crashing. Feel the warm breeze tickling my cheeks. Taste my husband's tender kisses.
And then, it is gone, as quickly as his short life.
I have been hired as the photographer for Dina's nuptials, and I want to present myself in the most professional fashion. But, I am terrified that I will emotionally lose it!
How the heck do I separate my overwhelming feelings from my "job?"
Do I shoot with a tear stained face?
Another, and not so appealing, option: Emotionally constipate myself.
Ignore the throbbing lump in my throat, and shove the burning tears down until I can cry in private.
Nope, I WANT to feel her anxiousness, love, and hope for the future.
Or, I can feel it ALL... and channel my emotions into my photographs.
The warmth.
The sorrow.
The joy.
The ache.
The faith that God has my heart in His hands, and is creating new dreams for me and Dina.
Dear Lord,
Please give me the creativity and perspective to capture Dina and Drew's love, the special details, and the unexpected moments of their celebration.
May I feel Your love, and be reminded that I am YOUR bride. Forever and always.
Thank you for being an example of Perfect Love.
Amen.
Stay tuned... Pictures to follow!
© 2008
Bouquet picture, seen above, is property of Brittany at foodiemonologues.blogspot.com.
Please do not use or repost without permission. Thank you!
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7 comments:
HUGS!
I know God will give you strength to be there for your friend that day professionally!
And to give her pictures of a day that will mark her new chapter of her life that maybe she never thought would happen again. And YOU get to be that person...the one that will capture and help provide this moment in photo that she and her new family will get to cherish. That is amazing and wonderful!
Again...HUGs...just cause.
:)
I just found your blog and I really feel for you. I pray too that God will comfort you and that his strength will be upon you as you help make this couple's day so much more special with beautiful memories to cherish forever.
He knows your pain and sorrow and He loves you and wants to bless you. You can totally do this all through Him xo
I am so sorry. You're much stronger than I am.
You will be in my thoughts this weekend as you have an exciting but painful task ahead. I am sending hugs from northern KY.
Sweetie! BEst of luck to you today!! Cerainly, prayer is the BEST meicine in this situation.I believe your sweet hubby is looking down on you today as well. Hang in thre, I hope God reveals his grander plan to you soon. Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog too btw! Tabitha
I'm sure you will do an awesome job. But I'll be thinking of you.
I hope the meatballs made you feel better!
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